Conspiracy theorist: the ultimate guide

Conspiracy theorist: the ultimate guide

Yokohama : Japan | Oct 04, 2011 at 7:52 AM PDT
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For those fond of conspiracy theories, this is the ultimate conspiracy guide that will make ‘Conspiracy Theorist for Dummies’ or ‘Harry Potter and the demoniac Conspiracy-hood Theory” —if those titles exist— read lame, dull, and dumb. This guide is a seriously demented and sure psycho path to be a conspiracy theorist. An expert that is.

Three easy steps the conspiracy theory prospect follow he must to master the art of conspiracy theory:

One.-Find the obvious importantly meaningless theme, the USA economy is going south will do as an example.

Two.-Find an obviously unrelated responsible for that theme, China and North Korea are fine.

Three.-Find the obscurely clear reason why the obvious importantly meaningless theme is so vaguely clear , envy, rogue regimen, and praxis of evil will fit well.

Then mixed throughly the ingredients. Shaken, not stirred, and you will uncover the deceptively reliable conspiracy.

Here we go!

The US’ economy is going, apparently, south. Stock markets are unstable as they have never been, and investor’s confidence is at its worse since the Stock Exchange was establish. Analysts rush to find the reason, and try to stop the economy from falling apart.

But as President Obama said, ‘America has been, will be, and will always be a AAA economy.’ Aha! We must take Mr. Obama’s comments ‘bona fide’ because he is the president of the US, and there is no reason for him to lie, right? Therefore, all things considered, what the US government is doing is to shake the economy hard to spun away all the opulent, people that has make huge amounts of money, and the filthy rich. But being a country of diversify integration, equality, and the beacon of politically incorrect correctness, the USA government has to shake its rear end in a subtle manner so to avoid everybody knowing what it’s are up to.

The point is that the US purposely weakens its economy to bring down some of its rivals in a politically correct manner.

The US will not openly attack China’s rise to super power, or ask it to reduce military spend, nor even force it to take its Beijing Kaoya hands off of Tibet and Taiwan.

And there is no way the US will attack the virtuously rogue regimen of North Korea, and provoke a retaliation from its protector: China again.

And we get to the praxis of evil. Anybody can attest Chinese praxis of control its exchange rate, ignore corruption, and lean to Political Correctness. A note from the editor(that is me): since the days of Mao ‘Lewinsky’ Zedong, China has conform its praxis to the Orthodox line of the Communist Party. Or not ? And this behaviour, of the Chinese, is a no-no for the US’ government.

So, how to masquerade the conspiracy? Firstly, does ‘made in China’ sound familiar? And secondly, a weaken US economy puts pressure on Chinese economy and slows down its growth because the US is the bigger buyer of Chinese goods. Some of which are even good, for cry out loud!

So what is the moral here?

The American government is bullying China, as they do with others, but in a obviously subtle manner to conceal the yes-we-can like attack.

There you are. My two reader on their way to professional conspiracy-hood.

Jorge Herbert is based in Tōkyō, Tokio, Japan, and is a Stringer on Allvoices.
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