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Polls—sick of them as I am? When only stripper poles make sense, we have a problem

Is your head spinning in confusion as mine is over the cacophony created by those damn out-of-control political polls? Some of them defy logic, math and reality, yet there seems to be a new one popping up every day.

The presidential election is gaining steam, rolling along on its last leg of the race, and the climate is understandably more charged, but the constantly changing polls are not helping. In fact, they are adding to the white noise, misinformation, half-truths and downright lies doing the rounds out there.

Jon Stewart’s “Daily Show” is apparently as fed up with them as I am, for during Wednesday's episode, he did a hilarious piece on the endless polls currently jockeying for position.

His "Senior Poll Watcher," Jason Jones, gave a breakdown of what the conflicting and contradictory numbers mean. From the Gallup poll to polls from Pollster.com, Fox News, CNN, Rasmussen and Zogby -- and these are just a small sample of all the pollsters.

Then there is the partisan angle. Fox News has accused the “liberal media” of bias in just about everything, including polls. Interestingly, their polls always seem to favor Romney or slant the rhetoric to be unfavorable to Obama. They have even called the recent job numbers released, “fixed” and “manipulated” to reduce the percentage to 7.8 percent, down from 8.1. Manipulated by whom?

Funny, when the unemployment rate was at 9-plus percent, they accepted those calculations. Why didn’t we hear cries of foul play by the Labor Department? After all, the folks who put out the new improved forecast are the same ones who have released the depressingly bad news month after month earlier on. See how the partisan politics can be dangerous in an attempt to influence your vote?

So who can you trust? I say no one. Know what’s important to you and your family this election; listen to what the candidates are saying or not saying about important issues; pay attention to flip-flops and frequent pandering; weigh the pros and cons of what each party stands for; shut out the insanity of the polls and put on your critical-thinking cap. Do not be a follower easily led by pundits and pollsters pushing their party politics disguised as informed reporting.

One day the polls have Obama way ahead of Romney, then one day it’s neck and neck, and the next they have Romney way ahead. It’s enough to make a trapeze performer dizzy.

Even your favorite neighborhood supermarket, 7-Eleven, is doing its own informal poll, serving coffee in color-coded cups: blue and red, for obvious reasons. Have we all gone mad?

The only poles which may be making any sense at the moment are those in the strip clubs. They at least have a clear purpose, with uncomplicated, non-partisan results.

If you like to write about U.S. politics and Campaign 2012, enter "The American Pundit" competition. Allvoices is awarding four $250 prizes each month between now and November. These monthly winners earn eligibility for the $5,000 grand prize, to be awarded after the November election.

If you like to write about U.S. politics and Campaign 2012, enter "The American Pundit" competition. Allvoices is awarding four $250 prizes each month between now and November. These monthly winners earn eligibility for the $5,000 grand prize, to be awarded after the November election.